Last Night

I woke up crying last night
yelling at you
eye to eye
covers around me
shards of light
slicing through the darkness.

When I asked you to leave,
I wish I had done it with more force
instead of wimpering like a dog
and telling you this is how it had to be
because I was too afraid to say how I really felt
How you disappoint
How you disrespect
How you disappear
How I know where you go
when you do
what you do
I can smell it --
the long, gray smoke that follows you like
a spirit
It clouds your eyes
Until
You cannot see what you are becoming;
WHO you are becoming!
I yelled all that
Last Night.
Unlike
the actual day.
The one you thought would never come and the one
I knew probably would
The one where your hands shook and your voice was thin
You said
It's not what you think.
And I said
Wait until tomorrow.
It's not wise to talk when we are upset.
But we did speak
The next day, in long heavy steps on the black top, side by side
So we didn't have to look eye to eye
And I said--
Oh, I can't remember it all now.
Only I must not have said enough
Or said it the way I should have
then
I must have left it hanging out there
like a partially filled cartoon bubble
Because last night
I filled that bubble full of exclamation points
Until it burst.


Copyright Hope A. Horner, 2013-2017. Use with permission only. Contact author on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/hopeh1122 Follow on Twitter @HopeNote